When starting the journey of searching for the right therapist, it can feel a bit like walking into a library with no signs and trying to find the one book that speaks to you. With hundreds of therapists to choose from in any one area, multiple modalities to consider, and decisions around whether to have therapy online or in person, the process can quickly feel overwhelming.

When I began looking for my own therapist in Hove, I faced all of these challenges. I was unfamiliar with the different therapeutic approaches, the directories felt confusing, and while some therapists mentioned specialist areas, many seemed to cover everything - often with a kind of broad vagueness. Choosing someone from hundreds of options felt impossible.

At one point, I even found myself searching in Facebook groups for recommendations. Eventually, I picked a therapist from Counselling Directory purely based on how they looked. Actually, choosing a therapist based on their photograph is more common than you might think. First impressions count, and seeing a friendly, approachable face can help people feel more comfortable before even booking a session. Research and feedback from therapists themselves show that many clients select therapists whose profiles include photos, as it helps them get a sense of who they might be working with. So if you found yourself making your choice this way, you’re definitely not alone.  In fact, facial appearance plays a bigger role than most people realise. You can read more about this here.

What Matters Most: Connection

While modality and specialism are important, the most crucial thing - especially at the beginning - is finding someone you feel a genuine connection with. Therapists are human too, and just like you wouldn’t start a friendship or romantic relationship with someone you don’t click with, it may not be the best idea to enter into a therapeutic relationship with the very first therapist you come across.

Recommendations from friends can be helpful, but if you’re completely new to therapy, I suggest booking an initial session or free consultation with at least three or four therapists. This gives you a chance to get a feel for different personalities and approaches, and see if the relationship might be a good fit for you.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Start Searching

Before you begin looking, it can help to get a sense of what you're looking for:

• What do I want support with? (Anxiety, trauma, relationships, identity, stress, etc.)

• Do I prefer in-person sessions, or online therapy?

• Am I looking for short-term support or something more open-ended?

There are no right or wrong answers - but having a sense of your needs can help narrow your options.

What to Look For in a Counsellor

As you start exploring therapists in Hove, here are a few key things to consider:

• Are they accredited? (For example, BACP or UKCP registered)

• Do they have experience with the challenges you're facing?

• What approach do they use?

If you're completely new to therapy, you might not be familiar with the different approaches available - and there are quite a few! Taking a bit of time to read up on the main modalities can help you figure out whether any stand out as particularly appealing. Sometimes you might feel drawn to a certain type straight away, but if not, that’s okay too - initial consultations can give you a feel for different approaches and what works for you in practice.

You’ll often see terms like integrative, humanistic, or psychodynamic in therapist profiles - and if those words sound a bit confusing or unfamiliar at first, you’re not alone (they definitely did to me!). If you're curious, the BACP has a helpful guide to different Types of counselling and psychotherapy that explains things in a clear, accessible way.

That said, you absolutely don’t need to understand all the theory to find the right therapist. Sometimes, it’s more about how the conversation feels than the label attached to their approach.

• Do they offer a free introductory call or session?
  This can be a great way to get a feel for their style before committing to anything.

A counsellor’s website can often give clues about who they are and how they work. Trust your gut - the sense of connection really does matter.

Local Support and Resources in Brighton & Hove

Alongside finding a private therapist, there are several excellent local resources and services available in Brighton & Hove that can support you - whether you're looking for local talking therapies, peer group help, or affordable counselling options:

• NHS Talking Therapies like the Brighton & Hove Wellbeing Service are a good place to start if you want free, short-term support for things like anxiety or low mood. You can self-refer online without needing your GP, and they offer sessions in person, online, or by phone. You can find them here: brightonandhovewellbeing.org.

• There’s also Qwell, part of the local charity UOK, which offers free, anonymous online counselling and support for adults in the area - no referral needed. Check them out at uok.org.uk.

• If you’re looking for something a bit more affordable but still professional, The Rock Clinic in Hove is well known locally. They offer therapy on a sliding scale depending on what you can afford, and many people I’ve spoken to have found them helpful. More info is at rockclinic.org.uk.

• For peer support or if you want a community vibe, Mind in Brighton & Hove is a great charity offering advocacy and self-help resources, and there’s also Switchboard, a fantastic LGBTQ+ helpline based right here in Brighton.

If Things Feel Urgent

If you ever find yourself feeling overwhelmed or in crisis, please remember you’re never alone. There are people who want to listen, anytime:

• The Samaritans are always there, day or night. You can call them free on 116 123 or visit samaritans.org. You don’t need to be in a crisis to ring them - sometimes just talking to someone can really help.

• The Sussex Mental Healthline is another 24/7 service you can call on 0300 5000 101 for urgent support.

• There’s also the Mental Health Rapid Response Service at 0300 304 0078 if you need immediate care.

I hope this gives you a clearer path and some reassurance as you take your next steps. Finding the right therapist and support is a journey - and you deserve to feel heard and comfortable along the way.